Mounting Tension!

*scene opens backstage with Jay Phillips in the arena, a few hours before the matches start.*

Jay: Well, ladies and gentlemen. I’m a volatile spot, because right now I’m standing in between Scotty “The Body” Paris and Pedro Muchacho. Gentlemen, you are slated to face each other tonight. And this match stems back to the colors tournament—

Scotty: *interrupting* That’s right punk! This goes back to when this masked burrito here decided to viciously attack Trixie! An innocent bystander and a defenseless lady! What kind of man does that? I’ll tell you, what kind! A piece of crap kind!

Pedro: That ees an eensult, hombre!

Scotty: Yeah, no kidding!

Pedro: Thees ees not my fault, hombre! What was she doing so close to the reeng? We were chaving a match! She chuld’ve not gotteen so close to the reeng!

Scotty: Trixie, as my valet, has a right to be out there! She minds her own business and never once done anything wrong while at ringside!

Pedro: Ha! Lies! She has gotteen eenvolved plenty of times, chico! And she has gotteen eenvolved with Pedro Muchacho too! Ole!

Scotty: Hey! You shut your taco hole! Who do you think you’re talking to! I guarantee you will never landscape another yard in this state again!

Pedro: Eets all talk, hombre. But all that talk won’t get chore mujer back from me! Aye!

Scotty: Why you--!!1

*Scotty lunges at Pedro and the two lock up and begin exchanging blows before security teams break them apart. They yell at each other as the scene ends.*

The Jay Transfer: Breaking Matches!

Jay Phillips: Jay Phillips here with the J-Transfer! We’re a few hours away from the next event, and here’s the latest card additions! Meinrad von Brakkus will be taking on Apollyon. Here’s what Meinrad had to say:

Meinrad: NRWL management talked to me earlier this week, and it wasn’t the good kind of talk. So, to get them to change their tune, I’m calling out Apollyon. I can chop down that redwood, and show the NRWL that I still belong here!

Jay Phillips: Nick Belhor had this to say:

Nick Belhor: First off, let me address that gnat, Michael Armstrong. You somehow think that because you were gifted a match, and was also able to defeat a failure, that you are now some sort of headliner now? The only headline you’ll be known for is the shortest career in the NRWL, when Abbadon ends yours! And going back to that failure I mentioned, Meinrad. You are a waste. While NRWL management show us time and time again they are completely incompetent, they are correct in having suspicions about you. But then again, if they had any REAL managerial insight, you would have been gone already. They are a joke, and so are you.

Jay Phillips: Sounds like more hangs in the balance of that match that just a win/loss record! Up next, Doomsday takes on Johnny Young!

Doomsday: I’m still not officially on the roster, but I’m almost there. And I think taking down Johnny Young—which I WILL do—will be the last hurdle I have to clear to earn my roster spot. Johnny, you seem to take some sort of pride in being a kind of backstage bad-ass. I guess being out in the ring is proving too tough for you. But that’s OK, I’ll play by your rules. Let’s rumble somewhere else in the building—your choice. Just let me know where to be, and I’ll show up and deal you a beatdown!

Jay Phillips: Johnny Young, never one to not have a retort, responded with this:

Johnny Young: Awww yeaahh! The Star Player totally gets where you’re coming from. You’re upset because clearly nobody ever showed you any attention in life. Whereas me, I can’t stop getting attention from everyone! Unfortunately for you though, you’ve got my attention. And if a Grade-A beatdown is what you’re asking for, I’ll be happy to provide it. See you in the ring! Don’t forget your glow sticks, freak! Yeeaaahhh!!!

Jay Phillips: Has relative new kid on the block Doomsday bitten off more than he can chew in Johnny Young, who excels in backstage brawls? This will be an exciting one to watch! Up next, Pedro Muchaco calls out Slugger Malone.

Pedro: *pedro is relaxing in his Jacuzzi (still still wearing his mask) with a hot little Latina at each arm* Ay! Sloogur Mah-lohwn! I saw chu get set on fire last show. Ha ha ha! Bet that deedn’t feel good, deed it hombre? I got somtheeng else hot for chu, man. And no, I don’t meen one of theese chicas. I meen me! Theenk chu can take the heet? I don’t theenk so! So get out of the keecheen!

Jay: Slugger, never backing down from a challenge, rebutted with this.

Slugger: Listen here, runt! You may be quick and always flying, but you know what else does that too? These! *holds up his dukes* Too bad for you though, these do more damage, too. I’m gonna make that mask of your be permanently imbedded into your face! Bring it!

Jay: Something is telling me for some strange reason that that match is going to be the sleeper match of the night. And finally, Marty Anderson reported to find this chunk of bark outside his dressing room door. He sent us this pic.

*piece of bark shows two stick figures. One with an orange beard, and one with blue shorts. The stick figure with the blue shorts has an X scratched into the bark over it.*

Jay: Marty, like the rest of us, take this as a challenge from Ingoyama. Marty had this to say:

Marty: This nutjob pulls out a lucky win over Slugger, and thinks he’s ready to take me on? If it was a *real* match, Slugger would’ve won easily. In fact, he already did that. Any chump can toss someone over ropes. But pining shoulders to the mat requires skill, quick thinking, and killer instinct. Ingoyama, you messed up bad challenging me. So I’m going to make you learn from your mistake the hard way! Whether you love me, or you hate me, I’ll make sure you respect me. And you will.

Jay Phillips: There you have it. Once again, it promises to be a heck of a show! Don’t miss it!

The J-Transfer - The Past Week's Goings Ons

May 16th 2011

Welcome to another edition of the J-Transfer! I’m Jay Phillips! Well, the Playstation Network is FINALLY back up so I can not post these videos and interv----what? What do you mean it didn’t effect the regular internet?? Oh man! I didn’t know the Internet still worked without the Playstation Network! I’ve just been playing Solitaire all this time on my computer! Man!

Anyway! Here’s some vids from last week just after the matches took place!


*clip cuts to Jay running up to Nick Belhor walking down the hallway and looking less than pleased*

Jay: Nick! Can you comment on the matches your guys were in?

Nick: Mr. Phillips, if I have to see you again this week, you’ll be paid a visit by the Sons of Darkness.

Jay: *worried* I’m sorry Mr. Belhor. Just your thoughts and I’ll go?

Nick: My thoughts are this. The NRWL, it’s executives, and it’s officiating have shown their true colors tonight. Once, yet again, they have pushed a member of the Sons of Darkness down!

Jay: What do you mean?

Nick: I’m talking about inappropriate disqualification of Abbadon!

Jay: But---you---elbowed Storm….?

Nick: I DID NO SUCH THING!!!! Storm Harrison left the ring to come at me—

Jay: I thought Abbadon threw him out?

Nick: --and I was trying to assist him back in, and my foot got caught on a badly set piece of padding and I tripped and landed on him. I tried to stop myself but couldn’t! And the ref stops the match. This federation is a joke.

Jay: So….what’s next for the Sons of Darkness?

Nick: What’s next is this. I will have them in a match where they are the most dangerous – together! We have certain unfinished business with one Rex Anarchy. Just because that miserable bedbug Scotty Paris cost Apollyon the belt, doesn’t mean Rex is safe. And while we’re at it, we might as well kill two birds with stone. Bruno Kowalski is making waves and turning heads. I’m sure he will be granted a title shot before either of the more deserving Sons of Darkness. So we will put him out of commission too.

Jay: So you’re proposing the Sons of Darkness vs. Rex Anarchy and Bruno Kowalski?

Nick: I’m not proposing it. I’m demanding it. Not get away from me, Jay!

*clips ends. Next one starts in Scotty “The Body” Paris’s private, gigantic locker room, right after his match with Apollyon. He’s bruised and his hair is disheveled. He is getting a rub down from a very attractive could-be-swimsuit-model masseuse. On a separate table, Trixie is getting her own massage from a guy who could pass as an Abercrombie & Fitch model. Scotty is yelling into his phone*

Scotty: --What are you talking about?? That match was great!!! …………Yeah, ok. I suppose I “technically” lost, but you know what? Nobody gave me a snowball’s chance in a microwave, and I went out there and gave that brainless musclehead a fight he won’t forget! Everyone is amazed by me! I came out of that smelling like roses! I’m amazing! I just keep getting better and better! Winner of the incredible ladder match! Got a title shot in this here briefcase *reaches down and pats the briefcase under the massage table* and now I’m known as the man who beat the Incredible Hulk, Apollyon, within an inch of his life! ……………..Right. Well, I’m just going to keep going up and make a splash at the next show by beating down another visible character. And I mean visible because his clothes are louder than a rock concert. I’m going to take on that weirdo Slam Jackson ………………Yeah, I know he’s deranged, but he CAN’T be worse than Apollyon! So he can go out there, clap his hands, pump his fists, rile up his Sham-nation, and then, I’ll beat them and laugh in their faces as watch their hero fall. I tell you, things are looking good for Scotty “The Body”, because I make it that way!

*clip cuts to Meinrad standing in the backstage interview area with Jay*

Meinrad: Let me tell you this, Jay. I’m pretty angry about last week. I wasn’t included on the card. And then, I lose in an exhibition match to a nobody! Well, I want this Armstrong guy in the ring again. One on one! I want to see what this kid has! And he’d better have something, because I’m bring the hammer of Brakkus down on him! I want to show him what it takes in the NRWL from the start! I want him in a TLC match. Let’s see what time of man he is!

*Clips cuts to in the ring action. Ash and Pedro Muchacho are in each other’s face with Jay Phillips in between them holding a mic*

Pedro: --Come on, hombre. Leyts see what chu got!

Ash: Oh I got plenty! I got a car! And a 3 bedroom apartment! And LED TV! And a—

Pedro: I meen een the reeng! *slaps head* Hay-soos Cristo!

Ash: Listen, Muchacho! You might be on quite the roll, but so am I! You beat some tough opponents, but I’ve beaten tougher ones. You might have talent, but I have more talent. But the one thing you don’t have, is the support of all these great fans!

*crowd cheers. Ash takes a few steps back and raises his arms out to the side and opens and closes his hands, asking for more noise. The crowd obliges. Pedro covers his ears and shakes his head and waves his arms at the crowd trying to get them to quiet down. They cheer louder. He finally gives up and yells into the microphone*

Pedro: Ok, hombre! Eets chu and me!

Ash: What’s chewing you?

Pedro: No! CHU! *points at Ash* ….. AND! …..ME! *points at himself*

Ash: Oh. Well you got it! Get ready to celebrate Cinco de My-Oh-My-Pedro-Sucks!

*Crows cheers with approval. Pedro stomps angrily in the ring at the insult.*

*Clip cuts to Slugger Malone walking up to his dressing room. He reaches for the doorknob but notices the door is ajar. Cautiously, he pushes it open. The door swings open and Slugger’s brow furls and his mouth turns into an angry frown. Painted all over his dressing room’s walls are stick figures of animals, people and other crude objects.*

Slugger: Son of a…. It’d better not be that freak in the loincloth…

*Slugger looks to his dressing room table and sees the tell-tale piece of bark*

Slugger: Ok. He’s asking for The Beating of his life. And I won’t disappoint him!

*clips end*


Once again, so much going on! The action never stops in the NRWL! This was the J-Transfer! See you next time!

The J-Transfer - Respect, Challenge, Determination, and Symbols

April 22nd 2011



Hey everyone! Jay Phillips here bringing you another J-Transfer! We got a lot of stuff for you today, so let’s start things off in the ring with Bruno Kowalski!



*Cutting into the action in the ring surrounded by cheering fans. Bruno Kowalski is speaking into the mic*




Bruno: --so to Marty Anderson, I say this. You’ve got the intestinal fortitude to take a beating like you did last week and maintain consciousness. Well done. But as far as your tag victory, there’s nothing that proves to me that it wasn’t a lucky tag any more than it was a good tag team strategy. Sorry, but that’ s just how it is. I see it as you guys stealing a win, not earning one. And speaking of earning stuff – it shouldn’t matter to you whether I “love you or I hate you.” But as far as respecting you, that’s something you’re going to have to earn. So at the next event, you’d better bring your A-game, because the Polish Powerhouse is ready to make sure you don’t steal another win!



*Cut back to Jay*




Strong words from Bruno. Will Marty have one more person respecting him, or will Kowalski lay the smacketh d----wait, nevermind. So here’s a soothing interview I had with Pedro Muchacho…



*Scene opens in a massage parlor. Pedro Muchacho is laying on his front on a massage bed-table thing getting a rub down from very attractive masseuse, wearing nothing but his luchador mask and towel over his backside. Jay crouches under the table and holds the mic up to the face hole in the bed so Pedro can speak into it*




Pedro: I theenk I proved that I am the reeel deeel. And now I go from one colorful opponent to another. Thees time, I want to take on Slam H-ackson. Thees hombre ees riding a weening streeek, but eets high time I put out hees flame. All the naranja clothes een the world won’t help you, chico. So come watch me fly, while you watch H-ackson fall!



*Scene ends. Cuts back to Jay*




Pedro Muchacho against Slam H-ackson? That’s a match I would LOVE to see! Entertainment guaranteed! So, later on at the event that we showed earlier that Bruno was talking at, Scotty “The Body” Paris got on the mic too—except he had a separate, private ring built in another part of the building where fans weren’t allowed.



*Scene cuts to Scotty Paris with a mic in a ring in an empty section of the arena. He is shown on the Revolu-Tron in the main ring area and his microphone is patched into the main PA system*




Scotty: You know, to get ahead in this world, you have to be persistent and forceful. But you people wouldn’t know anything about that. I mean, you all wear the same shirt at least twice in your life, and none of you have a signature style of track pants named after you. But if you want to see how it’s done – take a good look at me. I am now in the main event at the next show. How did I get that? Lots of reasons. Determination. Drive. Charisma. I bring a sorely needed fire to this snoozer of a match.




“Even the insertion of a ladder wouldn’t be enough to keep an my 92-year old grandmother awake in the nursing home I stuck her in! I mean, who wants to watch Frankenstein one-sidedly mash that unruly man-child, Rex Anarchy, into the mat again? “Wah! I don’t like rules!” Shut up! That’s stupid! What’s wrong with you? Rules are actually more fair than the anarchy you preach. Rules allow the exceptional people who are a cut above the rest to get ahead and excel in life – like they should. If you ran the universe, life would still be stuck at the plankton stage. And as for The Masked Bigfoot – he pretty much IS plankton, just floating around in muck with no purpose.”




“So rest assured, Scotty “The Body®” Paris™ will bring the game, looks, fire, charisma, intelligence, entertainment, and interest to this match! And I will walk away with a title shot in my back pocket and a smile on my face, while Rex and Hannibal Lector are left in the ring, scratching their heads wondering what happened! Ha!”




*cell phone rings*




“Hold on, I gotta take this. Hello? …….Who do you think this is??? ……..Well then why did you ask? Did you suddenly forget who I was when you saw my name in your contacts list?! ………….Listen, I’m busy right now. Call me back later. ……………..I’m promoting my upcoming match! Why? What do you want to discuss??? ……………Yeah. ……………Yeah. ……………..Right. ………………Ok. ……………….And what did you tell them? ………………..Did they go for that or not? ………………………And what did you say? ………………..Right. …………………….Well, that’s not the angle I would’ve gone with. That’s why you’re just and agent and not a star! ………………….Ok. ………………..No. ……………….”



*Cut back to Jay*




Jay: Scotty talked on his cell phone in the ring for another 15 minutes before finally leaving the ring, while still on the cell phone. We figured you wouldn’t care to watch that. And finally, on this J-Transfer, we leave you with video snippet. Thanks for watching the J-Transfer! See you next time!



*Scene cuts to a dressing room door that says “Quasar.” The door opens and, sure enough, Quasar is there. Before exiting he looks down on the ground, off camera, with a puzzled look. He reaches down and picks up a large piece of bark. On it are tribal marking and stick figure animals painted on it. He studies it with a furled brow while the scene fades out*

The J-Transfer - Late Interviews

March 30th 2011



Hey everyone! Welcome to another edition of the J-Transfer! I’m Jay Phillips! Well, the next show is just one day away, and I’m here to bring you some last minute updates, quotes, and even some buzzer-beating challenges! Let’s roll the clips!



*Pedro Muchacho is seen carrying his gym bag and in walking to his Rolls-Royce Phantom in an expensive suit and his luchador mask.*




Jay: Pedro! Your thoughts on that cosmic challenge from Quasar?




Pedro: Let me tell chu sometheeng, Hay! Que-sar had the luck of the Ireesh on hees side last time because eet was Saint Patty’s Day, and hees all green like a lepreekon! But thees time, will be deefrint! Don’t expek thees match to be as long, hombre. I will beet him queekly and weeth authoratee! No one will say hees performance was stellar! Ha ha ha! See what I deed there? Ha ha ha!



*clips cuts to a ring in an near empty gym where Bruno Kowalski is sparring with one of his trainers*




Jay: Bruno! Can you give me some insight on your Triple Threat match with Mark Blood and Slam Jackson?




Bruno: *in mid-application of a rear naked choke hold* It’s going to be a hell of a match. Slam Jackson, despite his flashy look and name, is pure talent. I might have to rely on a few double-teams in order to take him down. And as for Mark, it’s clear his father trained him well. He had some bad luck in the tournament, but I think anyone who writes him off is underestimating him. I won’t make that mistake.



*clip to Jay cowering down in front of Nick Belhor with Apollyon and Abbadon standing behind him*




Nick: *audio cutting in* ---and furthermore, Rex should be calling ahead and reserving a room in the hospital’s E.R. And the fact that this is a non-title match shows the hubris of NRWL’s executives and how they want their “marketable” champion figurehead. But I ask them, what will they do when their “poster boy” champion is nothing but a mess of irreparable flesh and meat lying in the middle of the canvas at the hands of Apollyon?




Jay: So it’s Apollyon taking on Rex? What’s in store for Abbadon then?




*Nick flares his eyes and scowls at Jay, who runs away*



Jay: Those guys scare me.



*cut to Jay standing with Ash in front of an NRWL logo backdrop*




Jay: Ash, you currently aren’t schedule for any match this Thursday. Anyone you would like to call out?




Ash: First off, let me say that you’ve got an awesome button-down shirt there. I also prefer the saturated colors as opposed to the pastels. And look at your rockin’ the matching tie!




Jay: Thanks! I got them at the Express!




Ash: Awesome! But yeah, the fans’ favorite, me, isn’t on the card right now. And that totally sucks! But there’s also 3 other dudes not on the card as well – Storm Harrison, Slugger Malone, and Marty Anderson. To all them I say, how about it? Let’s give these awesome fans a great match. Let’s steal the show! And if you are really asking “what’s in it for me?” then I say, “showcasing your talents in a match will get you a title shot quicker than doing nothing but watching other wrestle.” But I’m going to add a twist! How about some sort of “team” match. No one has one of those yet. Now, I would take anyone as a partner cause they’re all great! But I feel a certain kinship towards Storm Harrison. He’s got an awesome name, and he’s got long hair like me!




Jay: But—




Ash: So I’m ready to throw down and slap palms! Yeah! *walks off camera*



I thought “Slugger” was a pretty awesome name, and he has long hair too… Anyway, there you have it for the clips. Lastly, I have a message from Ingoyama……I think.




*reaches off-camera, pulls in object.*




See, I received this large piece of bark with weird markings and stick figures kind of painted on it. Using Google Translate, I interpreted it to roughly mean:




“Scotty the Body Eiffel Tower, when you stand off against me, you will lose. I will make you know the pride of my people. When the lion roars, your bones will quiver in panic under your flesh. You are now the trophy for which I hunt.”



And that’s it for this edition of the J-Transfer. Will the new challenges be accepted? Who will back up their words? Who will eat their words? What if Apollyon defeats Rex Anarchy? All these questions will be answered this Thursday! Don’t miss it!

The J-Transfer - Wrestlers Speak on Tournament

Hi Folks! This is Jay Phillips! Welcome to the J-Transfer! This is my little segment where I show highlights from interviews I've conducted throughout the week in rapid secession! I guess I didn't warrant getting my own section of the website, so I'm stuck under the "Action!" page. Oh well, someday...




With the NRWL Champion tournament brackets now established, I caught up with some of the participants and asked them to weigh in on their matches and opponents.




I found Mark Blood training for his match against Slam Jackson. He had some words for his opponent.




“Slam Jackson? Yeah, I’m looking forward to this match. We’re first on the card and I can tell you that between the two of us, we are guaranteed to start this thing off right. Slam, you seem like a worthy opponent but I have no intention of doing anything less than winning the NRWL Championship. Failure is not an option. I’ll see you Friday.”




Ash had this to say about his match...




"It doesn't really matter who I'm up against in this tournament. I'm gonna give it my all, and see it through to the end. Marty Anderson, watch out! Here I come!"




I spoke with Marty Anderson as well.




“I don’t know who Ash is. I’ve never met the man. What I can offer to him is some advice. Ash, bring your very best because you will need it. I’ll show no mercy. Whether you love me, or you hate me, I’ll make sure you respect me!”




I caught up with Pedro Muchacho at the casino. I had to swim through the entourage of ladies surrounding him, and I never saw anyone play craps in a suit and mask before...




"Que'-zar? Ha ha ha! He ees joke, hombre! He may have takeen heez name from a grande Roman eem-porr-rrar, but he ees no cham-pee-yon! *throws dice* Tell mee theees, seen-yor - what kind ov a man wrey-sools een a reedeeculous mask like that?? *dice are handed back to him* Ees loco! *breathes on dice through mask's mouth-hole and throws them again*"




I managed to find Nick Belhor creeping through the hallways without his two bruisers around, so I wasn't scared to approach him. He seemed less-than-pleased with the match-ups - specifically, the match between his two hulks...




"It's an outrage! It's a farce! I'm even inclined to believe that this is a result of card stacking! Some higher-up did not want two other wrestler out of commission before this season even gets underway, so they pit the two strongest men against each other so only one can continue on! This match should and would be the final match of the tournament brackets for the championship. I'm personally going to file a grievance for this match. If the suits are smart, they will re-seed the brackets. If not, I may have my disciples boycott the match in protest. And that is not an idle threat!"




Mr. Belhor is calling out the NRWL front office on his boys bashin' it up. Will the NRWL execs hear his grievance? If they deny his re-seeding request, will Nick hold true to his word and deny us the match we want to see? Drama drama drama!




But on the other side, Scotty "The Body" Paris seems hardly upset about his match. In fact, he seemed more upset with me...




"*talking on cell phone by his pool* No, I told you. That's not enough for a personal appearance. Who do they think I am? ........ Who the hell is Jesse Ventura??? I'm--hold on? *turns to microphone* What is it, Jay? Can't you see I'm busy here? Oh, you want me to comment on my match, do you? Well, how's this? Storm Harrison is a flake. He sounds like he should be a G.I. Joe action figure! 'Hey Kids! Buy Storm Harrison to battle the evil Cobra Commander! Storm Harrison! Now with Kung-Fu Grip and real simulation tears!' Geeze.... *back on phone* Hello? Sorry, it was just one of the NRWL's minimum-wage clowns taking up more of my valuable time. Now, about that Nike endorsement deal - if they cut ties with LeBron James as an act of good faith, tell them I'll 'consider'...."




I didn’t speak to Rex Anarchy but he posted about his match on his Twitter account.




“The tournament bracket has been announced and I am fighting some jungle dweller named Ingoyama? I promise to send him back there promptly!”




I didn’t even need to find Johnny Young. He found me! He asked me to pass the following along to his opponent, Bruno Kowalski.




“Aww yeah! The Star Player, the ONLY NRWL star good enough to be brought back, is winning the NRWL Championship again come Friday night. Bruno Powerhouse, I hear you’re a great wrestler so you’d better be worth my trouble. I intend to make this look good for one of my highlight reels. I thank you in advance for your part in Johnny Young’s continuing domination in the NRWL.”




And finally, I caught up with "The Polish Powerhouse" Bruno Kowalski, and asking him his opinions on what many people are already talking about as being the "Match of the Night"...




"It's gonna be a helluva match, I can tell you that already. Johnny Young is the real deal. I have to wrestle a perfect match. No questions about it. Even the smallest mistake against him can cost me the win. The man can capitalize on the slightest miscalculation and make you pay in spades. When watching tapes from Season 1 when he won the title, he was good back then, but took things a little more lightly. Now, he's even better, and seems to take things very seriously. I'll have my work cut out for me. If there's a silver lining, it could be that I'll be jumping the highest hurtle first."




I, personally, can't WAIT for this match! It can be one for the ages! Be sure to tune in this Friday, March 11th, when things officially kick-off for Season 4 of the NRWL! I'm Jay Phillips and this was the J-Transfer!