Uh-O(den)

[The scene fades in showing Crash MuscleGate and Frederic St. Pierre backstage, standing together and staring off camera. The camera turns towards where they are looking, showing a door with the label “Lovable Liam <3” on it. The door opens up, Liam talking to someone as he exits]

Liam: ...Sounds great! I really think this will work out! Oh! Hi Crash. Hi Frederic.

Crash: Liam...Liam Liam Liam Liam. You disappoint me Liam. I expected you and Frederic to beat each other so badly, that one of you would be unconscious and not be able to get up by the count of three. But you....you tapped out. You QUIT the MuscleGang! How could anyone quit the MuscleGang?

Liam: I was in a lot of pain...I could have been seriously injured!

Crash: You know what you do when you get injured? You rehab! And you could have gone to me for that rehab! But nope. You're a quitter. A failure.

Frederic: Un perdant!

Crash: I don't know what that means, but it's probably an insult! Right?

Frederic: You are correct!

Crash: See? Frederic and I are on the same page. We're not like you.

Liam: Guys, I'm really sorry, but-

Frederic: Please, please. No more excuses. Liam...I say this as a former ally....I believe it is best if you quit NRWL, just like you quit the MuscleGang. You save yourself embarrassment and pain.

Liam: I can't do that! I already found myself a new friend!

Crash: Ooooh! A new friend! Wow! Way to go!

Liam: And he and I challenge the two of you to a tag team match!

Frederic: Uh oh! Crash, I am afraid! Perhaps we should run?

Crash: Maybe! What if Liam makes us fight him and....Adorable Andy?

Frederic: Haha! Or better yet, maybe Delightful Derrick?

Liam: Or perhaps, the man that neither of you have ever managed to pin cleanly in sixteen matches, Oden Schreiner?

[The smiles on Crash and Frederic's faces fade away, as Liam knocks on the door he had exited from. Moments later, the door opens up, and out steps a very tall, very muscular man]

Crash: Whoa whoa whoa! Wait, he can't wrestle in the NRWL! This isn't possible!

Frederic: We do not accept this match! It is unfair! We are not properly prepared!

Oden: Accept the match!!! Or else I fight you now without rules!!! Without a ref!!! And with as much violence as possible!!!

Crash: We accept! A fair, two on two tag match, in a ring! That is what we want. It's not that we're uhh....afraid. We're just...not properly warmed up. Yeah! And judging by the veins throbbing in your arms, we assume you are, indeed, warmed up. So..safety first, right? Right! Come on Frederic, let's go!

[Crash tugs at Frederic's arm, and the two quickly walk off, looking over their shoulder. Liam smiles in delight, while Oden looks on, adorably angry]

Side Effects Include Muscle Loss

[The camera approaches Crash MuscleGate and Lovable Liam, who are backstage at the wrestler's entrance to the arena, having an animated discussion]

Crash: You're telling me you had no idea Frederic was going to attack you and leave?

Liam: I wouldn't have tagged in if I knew he was going to do that!

[One of the arena doors opens up, and Frederic St. Pierre enters, carrying his wrestling gear.]

Crash: Frederic! Over here, now!

[Frederic St. Pierre eyes Crash and Liam, then cautiously approaches them]

Frederic: Bonjour, Crash.

Crash: Look man, what the hell were you thinking? You guys have been great partners for a long time! What's the deal?!

Frederic: I shall speak only the truth. Crash, look around you. You're in the NRWL now. Surely you've heard talk in the locker room...you have heard the fans....Liam...is not a fit here. He belongs more in...a freakshow, than a wrestling company.

Liam: That's uncalled for!

Crash: It really is. You should apologize!

Frederic: Non! I will not. Crash....realize that Liam was a valuable asset in HAW. But here...he is a reject. I will not associate myself with him. However, I wish that you would keep me on board with the MuscleGang, and force Liam out.

Liam: No! Not happening! Crash, I didn't back stab anyone! I've been loyal to you since the start. I've been in the Gang longer than he has! If anyone should be gone, it's a traitor!

Crash: So you guys won't co-exist. One of you has to be gone. And I think the best way to solve that...is to have a one on one match between the two of. Loser leaves MuscleGang.

Frederic: I can agree to that.

Liam: Me too, and I expect to stay!

Frederic: And I expect you will go.

Liam: Stay!

Crash: Stop it! Stop! I don't need you two arguing while I have other issues to deal with! I don't have a match for the second week in a row! The card is filling up! I don't know what I'm going to do!

Liam: Crash, I believe that you'll find a spot on the card. Someone will want to fight you!

Crash: Thank you Liam, it means a lot.

Frederic: I believe that not only will you find a spot, you'll win your match.

Crash: And thank you Frederic, I appreciate that.

Liam: And after you win that match, you'll become so popular, all of your merchandise will sell out!

Frederic: You'll be made number one contender for the NRWL championship!

Liam: And you'll win it!

Crash: STOP! No more one-upping! Ugh...I..I need to go be alone on a treadmill!

[Crash walks off, shaking his head. Liam and Frederic stare at each other for a few seconds, before going their separate ways]

Muscle Them Out

[Fredric St. Pierre and Lovable Liam are in their locker room hanging out, when Crash MuscleGate barges in]

Crash MuscleGate: Do you believe this? We never should have came here! This is wrong! It's a travesty!

Frederic: Please, please. Take a breath. Tell us what is the matter.

Crash MuscleGate: I'm Crash MuscleGate!

Liam: That's something to be proud of!

Crash: You don't get it. I'm Crash...MUSCLE...Gate. I signed up with this company, and I was told all of these great plans...Crash MuscleGate water bottles, Crash MuscleGate heart monitors, Crash MuscleGate headbands! And what happens as soon as I put my name on that contract, AND get my MuscleGang signed too? Oh, here comes a team called the Muscle Bombers!

Liam: Oh my God...they stole your name!

Crash: Their name doesn't even make sense. Human tissue does not just explode and cause massive casualties!

Frederic: Do not worry, mon ami. Liam and I will confront them in a match, and defeat them. Life will be good for us again.

Liam: And if you're still stressed out, I can give you a massage to help calm you down.

Crash: Thank you Liam, but that won't be necessary. I believe in you and Frederic. Defeat those Muscle Bombers!

Noninvasive Invasion

[The scene fades in showing eight men standing side by side backstage. A familiar NRWL face, Mr. Lifeguard, steps forward]

Mr. Lifeguard: Hello NRWL! Remember me? I'm your old pal, Mr. Lifeguard! You're probably wondering right now “Mr. Lifeguard, where oh where have you been?” Well that's an easy answer! Saving lives of course! But when I wasn't at the beach rescuing people from dangerous waters, I was wrestling in my father's company, HAW! Unfortunately...my father was thrown from the top of a building and had company power seized from him, and I failed in my attempt to get the company back resulting in many wrestlers being fired! But have no fear! I took some of my fellow unemployed wrestlers, and I'm bringing them here to NRWL! Let's go down the line and meet some of them!

[Lifeguard approaches an Italian man]

Mr. Lifeguard: Right here is none other than Franco Mancini! Franco has had some-

Franco Mancini: Shut up! I had a pretty good gig on when I was with HAW until you screwed everything up! I mean, the pay I was getting there? Couldn't be beat! I was a three time World champion! Life was good! …..But you know what? NRWL...that's got a little bit more name recognition. That's more opportunity for me, and I seize opportunity! The NRWL needs fresh blood, and I will provide that. So you guys...you better watch out!

Mr. Lifeguard: Ah, Franco! That's the fighting spirit, good job! Next in line, we have my great friend making his return to NRWL, El Termitas!

El Termitas: Debut.

Mr. Lifeguard: Excuse me?

El Termitas: Making my debut.

Mr. Lifeguard: Of course! My good friend, El Termitas, making his NRWL debut!

El Termitas: Thank you Lifeguard. And while I've never worked here before, I've always been a fan of the NRWL! I'm looking forward to getting in the ring with everyone in this roster, from legends to new, undiscovered talent in development! Maybe I'll end up capturing the NRWL championship, maybe I'll team up with my pal Mr. Lifeguard and capture the tag titles, or maybe I'll just put on entertaining matches for the fans! At the end of the day, I'm just going to enjoy this experience!

Mr. Lifeguard: Unless you get a career ending injury! Moving on down the line, we have Benjamin the Blessed, and The Filthy Friar, The Holy Duo! How do you guys feel about joining the NRWL?

Benjamin: We feel hope. Hope for the planet. With The Holy Duo wrestling again, we can destroy the world's sinners, one match at a time. A wrestler is a cruel man. Focusing on brutalizing an opponent, until they are left to drown in their own blood. And what for? A piece of gold. Greed runs rampant in this company! Unfortunately for humanity, violence can only be ended BY violence. We will end the reign of the sinners, and we will begin a new age of peace. Di te incolumem custodiant.

Mr. Lifeguard: We may need El Termitas to translate that Spanish for us! Lastly, we have a strange group of people, Crash MuscleGate, Frederic St. Pierre, and Lovable Liam! I'm glad to see the three of you guys made it!

Crash: We didn't have a choice! Everywhere I went, people were asking me two questions: “Crash, can you tell me the secret ingredient in your protein shake?” and “Crash, when are you and the MuscleGang coming back?” Well the answer to those questions are “No!” and “Now!” I'm back, and my cardio is off the charts! Frederic, how would you describe my cardio before?

Frederic: Magnifique!

Crash: Exactly! And now, it's perfect! I've got my two workout partners, and we're ready to show some new folks what we do!

Frederic: I echo the sentiments of mon ami. And I also warn the NRWL roster...beware of stereotypes. One may view moi, as a cowardly Frenchman. One may view this HAW roster as...rejects. We are not. We are to be taken seriously. If you fail to do that, you will be in for a surprise.

Liam: Exactly! Look at the muscles on these boys here! They are sooooo strong! I've wrestled everyone standing here, and I can safely say, the things they can do to you in the ring, you'll remember for a long time to come! But I also agree with El Termitas! I want to wrestle everyone I can! I'll take on all comers!

Mr. Lifeguard: Wow, what a show of confidence from Lovable Liam! You just gotta love him! Well NRWL, we hope you're ready for us! It's going to be a good season!

[Mr. Lifeguard waves goodbye as the camera fades to black]