Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust, Ash, You're Dead to Us

[The Holy Duo's music hits, and heading out to the ring is Benjamin the Blessed and The Filthy Friar, meeting a chorus of boos]

Jim “The Amp” Johnson: Here comes the Holy Duo! And thankfully, it doesn't look like they're going to attack anyone!

Warhead: Keep your guard up, Jim. You never know with these guys!

[As Benjamin and the Friar get to the ring, there is a bucket and cloth set up in the middle of the ring. Benjamin grabs a microphone]

Benjamin: I think that the world is starting to learn. You people are starting to see the truth. You do not like it, but slowly, you will. When we focus, our foes crumble before us. Sometimes though, we lose our concentration for the briefest of moments. We fall into the temptations of the demons that defeat us. One of those demons was a man named Ash. Ash fought The Filthy Friar a few weeks back...and Ash pinned him. He threw water on your flame of hope! But that is not the worst of what he did. After the match....he extended his hand to the Friar. I have never seen such disrespect in my life!

Jim “The Amp” Johnson: What?! Ash wanted to congratulate The Filthy Friar on a hard fought match!

Warhead: Wait, maybe Benjamin is talking about The Filthy Friar himself! It's not likely, but he might be!

Benjamin: That very act...that is an act only for the just! Ash extended his hand in an attempt to sully the Friar! Watch closely Ash. I will cleanse your putridity. Once through The Filthy Friar, and once through the agony of the ring.

[Benjamin kneels down and grabs the cloth. He dips it in the bucket, wetting it, and begins to wash The Filthy Friar's hand]

Warhead: I don't know what to make of these guys. They're definitely short a few brain cells!

Jim “The Amp” Johnson: And Ash seems to be the next one they have their sights set on! Now can someone get them out of this ring?

[Benjamin continues washing The Friar's hand, until the camera finally fades out]

Witch Hunt

[The lights in the arena slightly dim, and Warlock's music begins to play, prompting the crowd to erupt in cheers]

Jim “The Amp” Johnson: It looks like Warlock is making his way down to the ring!

Warhead: And the fans are loving it already!

[Warlock walks onto the stage, nodding and pointing to some of the fans. He moves to the center of the stage, getting ready to pose, when a hooded figure attacks him from behind]

Jim “The Amp” Johnson: What the?! Who is that?!

[The figure picks Warlock up, then throws him off the stage to the floor below. The figure lowers his hood, revealing himself to be The Filthy Friar]

Warhead: Of course, it would be The Filthy Friar!

[The Friar jumps down to the arena floor, and picks Warlock up. Warlock unleashes a series of punches to The Filthy Friar, drawing cheers from the crowd. Warlock attempts to Irish Whip The Friar into the crowd barricade, but the Friar reverses it, sending Warlock back-first into it. The Filthy Friar finally picks Warlock up, and slams Warlock through a table. Emerging from backstage a few seconds later, Benjamin the Blessed appears, holding a microphone and lit candle]

Jim “The Amp” Johnson: Well you had to figure that if the Friar was around, Benjamin wouldn't be too far away.

[Benjamin stands over Warlock, then starts to pour the hot wax onto his body. Warlock's instincts take over, and he sits up in pain. Benjamin then smashes the candle over Warlock's head, knocking him out]

Benjamin: We heard you last week, Warlock. I was able to respond to you with actions, but now, I want to respond to you in words. You want the NRWL to stay the same, and that makes you our most outspoken enemy. We can not have people speaking against our mission, promoting the lifestyle of the heathens! You call yourself ”Warlock.” You celebrate the occult by that very act! This can not be. We will not allow this! The Filthy Friar will see to it that you are finally destroyed.

Warhead: These guys are insane!

[Benjamin the Blessed looks up from Warlock, then turns toward the crowd]

Benjamin: You are all witness to moment! The truth of your cult leader has been unraveled for all to see! The next time you see Warlock, his music will blast through the arena. Fire and explosions will burn and shake the surrounding concrete! You may be inclined to cheer for this man, to make your voice louder than the artificial sounds around you! But know this: The loudest your voice can go...will be nothing compared to the shrills of your soul, as it suffers for following false idols! Di te incolumem custodiant!

[Benjamin throws the microphone down and walks away with The Filthy Friar, leaving Warlock lying in the carnage]

Jim “The Amp” Johnson: I think we need help out here for Warlock! And who's going to stop the Holy Duo?!

Warhead: From what we've seen of Warlock so far, I think he'll be volunteering once he's recovered!

Preperations

[The camera fades in to show a church at night, lit only by candles. Dressed in cloaks, Benjamin the Blessed and The Filthy Friar approach an altar. The Friar holds up a small object, what appears to be a photograph. Benjamin the Blessed begins to chant in Latin, his pace and volume getting faster and louder the longer it goes on. It finally reaches a climax, and Benjamin the Blessed lowers his hood to reveal his face to the camera]

Benjamin: Di te....incolumem.....custodiant.

[The Filthy Friar throws the photograph into one of the candles and the picture starts to burn. The camera zooms in on the burning picture, revealing Ash, before fading to black]

Noninvasive Invasion

[The scene fades in showing eight men standing side by side backstage. A familiar NRWL face, Mr. Lifeguard, steps forward]

Mr. Lifeguard: Hello NRWL! Remember me? I'm your old pal, Mr. Lifeguard! You're probably wondering right now “Mr. Lifeguard, where oh where have you been?” Well that's an easy answer! Saving lives of course! But when I wasn't at the beach rescuing people from dangerous waters, I was wrestling in my father's company, HAW! Unfortunately...my father was thrown from the top of a building and had company power seized from him, and I failed in my attempt to get the company back resulting in many wrestlers being fired! But have no fear! I took some of my fellow unemployed wrestlers, and I'm bringing them here to NRWL! Let's go down the line and meet some of them!

[Lifeguard approaches an Italian man]

Mr. Lifeguard: Right here is none other than Franco Mancini! Franco has had some-

Franco Mancini: Shut up! I had a pretty good gig on when I was with HAW until you screwed everything up! I mean, the pay I was getting there? Couldn't be beat! I was a three time World champion! Life was good! …..But you know what? NRWL...that's got a little bit more name recognition. That's more opportunity for me, and I seize opportunity! The NRWL needs fresh blood, and I will provide that. So you guys...you better watch out!

Mr. Lifeguard: Ah, Franco! That's the fighting spirit, good job! Next in line, we have my great friend making his return to NRWL, El Termitas!

El Termitas: Debut.

Mr. Lifeguard: Excuse me?

El Termitas: Making my debut.

Mr. Lifeguard: Of course! My good friend, El Termitas, making his NRWL debut!

El Termitas: Thank you Lifeguard. And while I've never worked here before, I've always been a fan of the NRWL! I'm looking forward to getting in the ring with everyone in this roster, from legends to new, undiscovered talent in development! Maybe I'll end up capturing the NRWL championship, maybe I'll team up with my pal Mr. Lifeguard and capture the tag titles, or maybe I'll just put on entertaining matches for the fans! At the end of the day, I'm just going to enjoy this experience!

Mr. Lifeguard: Unless you get a career ending injury! Moving on down the line, we have Benjamin the Blessed, and The Filthy Friar, The Holy Duo! How do you guys feel about joining the NRWL?

Benjamin: We feel hope. Hope for the planet. With The Holy Duo wrestling again, we can destroy the world's sinners, one match at a time. A wrestler is a cruel man. Focusing on brutalizing an opponent, until they are left to drown in their own blood. And what for? A piece of gold. Greed runs rampant in this company! Unfortunately for humanity, violence can only be ended BY violence. We will end the reign of the sinners, and we will begin a new age of peace. Di te incolumem custodiant.

Mr. Lifeguard: We may need El Termitas to translate that Spanish for us! Lastly, we have a strange group of people, Crash MuscleGate, Frederic St. Pierre, and Lovable Liam! I'm glad to see the three of you guys made it!

Crash: We didn't have a choice! Everywhere I went, people were asking me two questions: “Crash, can you tell me the secret ingredient in your protein shake?” and “Crash, when are you and the MuscleGang coming back?” Well the answer to those questions are “No!” and “Now!” I'm back, and my cardio is off the charts! Frederic, how would you describe my cardio before?

Frederic: Magnifique!

Crash: Exactly! And now, it's perfect! I've got my two workout partners, and we're ready to show some new folks what we do!

Frederic: I echo the sentiments of mon ami. And I also warn the NRWL roster...beware of stereotypes. One may view moi, as a cowardly Frenchman. One may view this HAW roster as...rejects. We are not. We are to be taken seriously. If you fail to do that, you will be in for a surprise.

Liam: Exactly! Look at the muscles on these boys here! They are sooooo strong! I've wrestled everyone standing here, and I can safely say, the things they can do to you in the ring, you'll remember for a long time to come! But I also agree with El Termitas! I want to wrestle everyone I can! I'll take on all comers!

Mr. Lifeguard: Wow, what a show of confidence from Lovable Liam! You just gotta love him! Well NRWL, we hope you're ready for us! It's going to be a good season!

[Mr. Lifeguard waves goodbye as the camera fades to black]