[“Tears Don’t Fall” by Bullet For My Valentine plays over the PA system and the crowd starts to boo. Travis 22 come out from behind the curtain and jumps around all fired-up like.]
WarHead: Oh god, not this guy…
Jim “The Amp” Johnson: Oh no.
[Travis 22 runs down to the ring and gets in and raises his arms to a chorus of boo’s. He takes a mic as the music dies down.]
Travis 22: Yeeeeaaahh!!! If everyone could please stop cheering for a moment, I have an announcement!
[Boo’s rain down even louder.]
Jim: The NRWL crowd, getting on Travis 22!
Travis 22: Please! Please! I have to make this announcement! If you could just stop cheering me for a minute.
[Boo’s chorus of boo’s continue]
WarHead: This guy is messed in the head.
Travis 22: Well, I suppose it’s only natural everyone wants to cheer me! I am the most entertaining and exciting wrestler on the roster, and everyone here loves me so much!
[The boo’s are unrelenting.]
Jim: They’re not cheering you!
Travis 22: But on to my announcement. I am pleased to inform everyone that…….I am STILL undefeated! How about it?!!?
[The boo’s are louder than they’ve been all evening.]
WarHead: Do you think he might mistakenly think that “undefeated” means “winless”?
Jim: That’s as good an explanation as any.
Travis 22: Yeah, Ash was a worthy opponent, but he just doesn’t stack up when it comes to the pure caliber of wrestling pedigree that I possess! I gave the former NRWL champion all he could handle and then some! Now, he might’ve gotten the W on paper, but really, I’m the winner in the whole situation. Everybody can see it!
WarHead: I kinda thought Ash had a really good showing…
Jim: He did! He whooped Travis 22!
Travis 22: So in keeping up with my current trend of besting better and better talent, I’m calling out someone who’s been unstoppable since he got here, and is a person hero of the NRWL fans! I’m challenging El Termitas! El Termitas! Can you step up to the plate? Can you do the unthinkable and hand me my first defeat?! No you can’t, but let’s have the match anyway! Thank you!
[The crowd boos as the music comes back on. Travis 22 exits the ring waving and bowing to the crowd]
WarHead: Calling El Termitas, this is an S.O.S. Please shut this guy up!
Jim: El Termitas, you have the hopes and dreams of the entire NRWL on your shoulders!
[The scene fades out.]
Showing posts with label Travis 22. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Travis 22. Show all posts
Friday, May 9, 2014
Friday, April 25, 2014
Victory!
[Jay Phillips is in the interview area.]
Jay: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guest, Travis 22.
[Travis 22 steps into the scene]
Jay: Travis, I wanted to ask you about your thoughts on your loss to Tiger--
Travis 22: Whoa whoa whoa there, Jay! Loss? What loss?
Jay: Your….loss to Tiger Johnson.
Travis 22: You might want to re-watch that match, Jay. I didn’t lose!
Jay: Y…..yes you did. You got pinned for a 3 count.
Travis 22: Oh. NOW I see where your disconnect is. You’re one of THOSE people who think an entire match is summarized in 3 seconds. Well, you couldn’t be more wrong, Jay. Watch the entire match. I was phenomenal. I completely dominated. I owned that old hack with techniques that are far better than anyone else on the planet! Re-watch the match, Jay. You’ll see how freakin’ incredible I was. Then, come back and tell me if old man Johnson laying on me for 3 seconds is better than the extraordinary match I put on.
Jay: Well, the win/loss record is kind of important…
Travis 22: The win/loss record is just stats, and as we all know, stats can be manipulated to say anything. The fans would really be bored if matches were just three-second contests. Look at the whole picture, Jay. I entertained everyone out of their seats that match! I was pulling double-duty because I had to pick up all the slack that old Tiger was putting down with his snooze-inducing style! And if you ask me, that makes ME the real winner here.
Jay: Uh, ok, I guess. So what’s next for you?
Travis 22: There’s this cat who keeps calling himself the “fans’ favorite wrestler.” Well, Ash. I am calling you out on that, sir! You might have been the fans’ favorite...until now! That is a title that now belongs to me! People love winners, and I am not only a winner, but I’m also undefeated! So let’s do this Ash! Let’s give the fans’ their welfare checks’ worth! Yeah!
[Travis 22 walks off camera smiling.]
Jay: Uh…interesting. Well then, Travis 22 and Ash at the next show! Should be a good one, folks!
[scene fades out.]
Jay: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guest, Travis 22.
[Travis 22 steps into the scene]
Jay: Travis, I wanted to ask you about your thoughts on your loss to Tiger--
Travis 22: Whoa whoa whoa there, Jay! Loss? What loss?
Jay: Your….loss to Tiger Johnson.
Travis 22: You might want to re-watch that match, Jay. I didn’t lose!
Jay: Y…..yes you did. You got pinned for a 3 count.
Travis 22: Oh. NOW I see where your disconnect is. You’re one of THOSE people who think an entire match is summarized in 3 seconds. Well, you couldn’t be more wrong, Jay. Watch the entire match. I was phenomenal. I completely dominated. I owned that old hack with techniques that are far better than anyone else on the planet! Re-watch the match, Jay. You’ll see how freakin’ incredible I was. Then, come back and tell me if old man Johnson laying on me for 3 seconds is better than the extraordinary match I put on.
Jay: Well, the win/loss record is kind of important…
Travis 22: The win/loss record is just stats, and as we all know, stats can be manipulated to say anything. The fans would really be bored if matches were just three-second contests. Look at the whole picture, Jay. I entertained everyone out of their seats that match! I was pulling double-duty because I had to pick up all the slack that old Tiger was putting down with his snooze-inducing style! And if you ask me, that makes ME the real winner here.
Jay: Uh, ok, I guess. So what’s next for you?
Travis 22: There’s this cat who keeps calling himself the “fans’ favorite wrestler.” Well, Ash. I am calling you out on that, sir! You might have been the fans’ favorite...until now! That is a title that now belongs to me! People love winners, and I am not only a winner, but I’m also undefeated! So let’s do this Ash! Let’s give the fans’ their welfare checks’ worth! Yeah!
[Travis 22 walks off camera smiling.]
Jay: Uh…interesting. Well then, Travis 22 and Ash at the next show! Should be a good one, folks!
[scene fades out.]
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
A Breath of Fresh Air
[“Tears Don’t Fall” by Bullet For My Valentine plays over the sound system and Travis 22 comes out at the top of the ramp smiling, yelling, and fist-pumping. He has a purple faux-hawk, red Hawaiian shirt, white shorts, sneakers, and white shutter shades.]
WarHead: Ooo! The circus is in town!
Jim “The Amp”Johnson: I heard about this guy.
[Travis 22 walks down the ramp talking to the crowd. Fans stretch their hands over the barricade and Travis puts his hand just *barely* out of reach, but acts like that’s normal, still talking up the crowd on his way to the ring.]
WarHead: What the--? Perhaps he needs glasses.
[Travis 22 climbs into the ring and takes a mic. He stands in the center and puts his hands on his hips triumphantly and smiles. The music dies down and he continues to stand there. The crowd is rather quiet with confusion.]
WarHead: Psst! Travis! This is where you speak into the microphone!
Jim: I’m sure he knows that. He’s being arrogant!
[Finally, after a long 30 seconds, Travis raises the mic.]
Travis 22: Oh yeah! That’s right! The Epoch of 22 has OFFICIALLY STARTED!!!!
[The crowd gives mixed reactions. Many are confused. Some cheer by default.]
Travis 22: Everyone can let out a great big sigh of relief because I am here! And I am going to give YOU the fans the type of wrestler, the type of entertainer, the type of franchise player, that you deserve!
[A portion of the crowd cheers. Most do not.]
Travis 22: I know some of you are hesitant to cheer, and I don’t blame you. Why would you? Why should you? What exactly have you had to cheer about? Nothing! You’re numb to the sub-standard set of talent that the NRWL has been pouring into your feed-bags! Well, NO MORE!!! Because I am three billion times better than all the rest of those dorks in the locker room!
WarHead: Oh boy…
Jim: Well that’s a nice way to introduce yourself.
[The crowd now starts jeering.]
Travis 22: I know, right!?!? I’d boo them too if I was in your place! Look at them! The quote Start Player end quote Johnny Young! The Fans Favorite goofball Ash! And the champion is called the Polish Powerhouse?!? El oh el! Oh man, you people have settled for far too less for far too long!
Jim: He just called out 3 NRWL champions.
WarHead: He’s lucky he didn’t call me out.
Travis 22: But that is how it was, and thanks to me, everyone here will have a reason to wake up in the morning! And each night everyone will say “Thank you Travis 22 for bettering my life,” before you drool yourselves to sleep on the recliner! Because I am the best wrestler on this roster now. My record speaks for itself! I am undefeated in every match I’ve ever been in!
WarHead: Wait, what? Let me see that stat sheet—
Jim: —I’m already checking into it.
Travis 22: From my elementary school playground, to my high school gym, to the development circuits, to now. Never lost a match! Nope. And I’m going to continue that winning streak in the NRWL!
WarHead: …that just doesn’t sound—
Jim: It’s not! He’s lost before!
Travis 22: And that streak continues when I take on the big oaf, Tiger Johnson. How about it, old timer? How does it sound to main event the next show?
WarHead: What about the Bruno/Max…?
Jim: He’s not main eventing the next show!!!
Travis 22: I know, it sounds scary. After what happened last time you headlined, I understand. But it won’t be as bad this time. When you’re in your hospital bed recovering, having your dinner pumped through your feeding tube, you too can also think happily “Travis 22 bettered my life.” It’d be good manners to send me a Thank-You card, FYI. And I’ll never forget you as the first stepping-stone on my path to becoming the NRWL champion! Thank you everybody!!!
[Travis 22’s music starts back up and he stands in the ring smiling while the crowd boos him. He waves and walks around the ring blowing the crowd kisses and fist pumps.]
WarHead: This freakin’ guy…
Jim: He might’ve bit off more than he can chew. Tiger is a former #1 contender and MoW legend.
WarHead: As a ringside commentator, I try to be neutral all the time, but I hope Tiger plants this guy.
Jim: We’ll see soon enough!
[Scene fades.]
WarHead: Ooo! The circus is in town!
Jim “The Amp”Johnson: I heard about this guy.
[Travis 22 walks down the ramp talking to the crowd. Fans stretch their hands over the barricade and Travis puts his hand just *barely* out of reach, but acts like that’s normal, still talking up the crowd on his way to the ring.]
WarHead: What the--? Perhaps he needs glasses.
[Travis 22 climbs into the ring and takes a mic. He stands in the center and puts his hands on his hips triumphantly and smiles. The music dies down and he continues to stand there. The crowd is rather quiet with confusion.]
WarHead: Psst! Travis! This is where you speak into the microphone!
Jim: I’m sure he knows that. He’s being arrogant!
[Finally, after a long 30 seconds, Travis raises the mic.]
Travis 22: Oh yeah! That’s right! The Epoch of 22 has OFFICIALLY STARTED!!!!
[The crowd gives mixed reactions. Many are confused. Some cheer by default.]
Travis 22: Everyone can let out a great big sigh of relief because I am here! And I am going to give YOU the fans the type of wrestler, the type of entertainer, the type of franchise player, that you deserve!
[A portion of the crowd cheers. Most do not.]
Travis 22: I know some of you are hesitant to cheer, and I don’t blame you. Why would you? Why should you? What exactly have you had to cheer about? Nothing! You’re numb to the sub-standard set of talent that the NRWL has been pouring into your feed-bags! Well, NO MORE!!! Because I am three billion times better than all the rest of those dorks in the locker room!
WarHead: Oh boy…
Jim: Well that’s a nice way to introduce yourself.
[The crowd now starts jeering.]
Travis 22: I know, right!?!? I’d boo them too if I was in your place! Look at them! The quote Start Player end quote Johnny Young! The Fans Favorite goofball Ash! And the champion is called the Polish Powerhouse?!? El oh el! Oh man, you people have settled for far too less for far too long!
Jim: He just called out 3 NRWL champions.
WarHead: He’s lucky he didn’t call me out.
Travis 22: But that is how it was, and thanks to me, everyone here will have a reason to wake up in the morning! And each night everyone will say “Thank you Travis 22 for bettering my life,” before you drool yourselves to sleep on the recliner! Because I am the best wrestler on this roster now. My record speaks for itself! I am undefeated in every match I’ve ever been in!
WarHead: Wait, what? Let me see that stat sheet—
Jim: —I’m already checking into it.
Travis 22: From my elementary school playground, to my high school gym, to the development circuits, to now. Never lost a match! Nope. And I’m going to continue that winning streak in the NRWL!
WarHead: …that just doesn’t sound—
Jim: It’s not! He’s lost before!
Travis 22: And that streak continues when I take on the big oaf, Tiger Johnson. How about it, old timer? How does it sound to main event the next show?
WarHead: What about the Bruno/Max…?
Jim: He’s not main eventing the next show!!!
Travis 22: I know, it sounds scary. After what happened last time you headlined, I understand. But it won’t be as bad this time. When you’re in your hospital bed recovering, having your dinner pumped through your feeding tube, you too can also think happily “Travis 22 bettered my life.” It’d be good manners to send me a Thank-You card, FYI. And I’ll never forget you as the first stepping-stone on my path to becoming the NRWL champion! Thank you everybody!!!
[Travis 22’s music starts back up and he stands in the ring smiling while the crowd boos him. He waves and walks around the ring blowing the crowd kisses and fist pumps.]
WarHead: This freakin’ guy…
Jim: He might’ve bit off more than he can chew. Tiger is a former #1 contender and MoW legend.
WarHead: As a ringside commentator, I try to be neutral all the time, but I hope Tiger plants this guy.
Jim: We’ll see soon enough!
[Scene fades.]
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