Noninvasive Invasion

[The scene fades in showing eight men standing side by side backstage. A familiar NRWL face, Mr. Lifeguard, steps forward]

Mr. Lifeguard: Hello NRWL! Remember me? I'm your old pal, Mr. Lifeguard! You're probably wondering right now “Mr. Lifeguard, where oh where have you been?” Well that's an easy answer! Saving lives of course! But when I wasn't at the beach rescuing people from dangerous waters, I was wrestling in my father's company, HAW! Unfortunately...my father was thrown from the top of a building and had company power seized from him, and I failed in my attempt to get the company back resulting in many wrestlers being fired! But have no fear! I took some of my fellow unemployed wrestlers, and I'm bringing them here to NRWL! Let's go down the line and meet some of them!

[Lifeguard approaches an Italian man]

Mr. Lifeguard: Right here is none other than Franco Mancini! Franco has had some-

Franco Mancini: Shut up! I had a pretty good gig on when I was with HAW until you screwed everything up! I mean, the pay I was getting there? Couldn't be beat! I was a three time World champion! Life was good! …..But you know what? NRWL...that's got a little bit more name recognition. That's more opportunity for me, and I seize opportunity! The NRWL needs fresh blood, and I will provide that. So you guys...you better watch out!

Mr. Lifeguard: Ah, Franco! That's the fighting spirit, good job! Next in line, we have my great friend making his return to NRWL, El Termitas!

El Termitas: Debut.

Mr. Lifeguard: Excuse me?

El Termitas: Making my debut.

Mr. Lifeguard: Of course! My good friend, El Termitas, making his NRWL debut!

El Termitas: Thank you Lifeguard. And while I've never worked here before, I've always been a fan of the NRWL! I'm looking forward to getting in the ring with everyone in this roster, from legends to new, undiscovered talent in development! Maybe I'll end up capturing the NRWL championship, maybe I'll team up with my pal Mr. Lifeguard and capture the tag titles, or maybe I'll just put on entertaining matches for the fans! At the end of the day, I'm just going to enjoy this experience!

Mr. Lifeguard: Unless you get a career ending injury! Moving on down the line, we have Benjamin the Blessed, and The Filthy Friar, The Holy Duo! How do you guys feel about joining the NRWL?

Benjamin: We feel hope. Hope for the planet. With The Holy Duo wrestling again, we can destroy the world's sinners, one match at a time. A wrestler is a cruel man. Focusing on brutalizing an opponent, until they are left to drown in their own blood. And what for? A piece of gold. Greed runs rampant in this company! Unfortunately for humanity, violence can only be ended BY violence. We will end the reign of the sinners, and we will begin a new age of peace. Di te incolumem custodiant.

Mr. Lifeguard: We may need El Termitas to translate that Spanish for us! Lastly, we have a strange group of people, Crash MuscleGate, Frederic St. Pierre, and Lovable Liam! I'm glad to see the three of you guys made it!

Crash: We didn't have a choice! Everywhere I went, people were asking me two questions: “Crash, can you tell me the secret ingredient in your protein shake?” and “Crash, when are you and the MuscleGang coming back?” Well the answer to those questions are “No!” and “Now!” I'm back, and my cardio is off the charts! Frederic, how would you describe my cardio before?

Frederic: Magnifique!

Crash: Exactly! And now, it's perfect! I've got my two workout partners, and we're ready to show some new folks what we do!

Frederic: I echo the sentiments of mon ami. And I also warn the NRWL roster...beware of stereotypes. One may view moi, as a cowardly Frenchman. One may view this HAW roster as...rejects. We are not. We are to be taken seriously. If you fail to do that, you will be in for a surprise.

Liam: Exactly! Look at the muscles on these boys here! They are sooooo strong! I've wrestled everyone standing here, and I can safely say, the things they can do to you in the ring, you'll remember for a long time to come! But I also agree with El Termitas! I want to wrestle everyone I can! I'll take on all comers!

Mr. Lifeguard: Wow, what a show of confidence from Lovable Liam! You just gotta love him! Well NRWL, we hope you're ready for us! It's going to be a good season!

[Mr. Lifeguard waves goodbye as the camera fades to black]