July 6th 2011
*Jay Phillips is in the interview area backstage*
Jay: Hi everyone! Jay Phillips here! I'm
backstage here with Scotty "The Body" Paris! Scotty....tough loss to
Slam Jackson at the last event.
Scotty: "Tough?" "Tough???"
More like "unfair!" What was that crap?? Somebody tell that ref to go
back to Sesame Street and learn that 2, not 3, comes after 1!!!
Jay: I think I have to agree with you this
time, Scotty. Even from my viewpoint, the count seemed rather quick. But, he's
human, and like the rest of us, makes a mistake every now and then.
Scotty: Save the diplomatics, Phillips! This
was an outrage, and I fully expect to be compensated for this!
Jay: What are you proposing?
Scotty: I want an immediate title shot. That's
the only fair thing to do.
Jay: A title shot?!? But--
Scotty: That's right. They owe me—
*Suddenly, Ash walks onto the scene*
Scotty: Hey! Get out of my interview! The soup
kitchen is in the back of the building, bum!
Ash: Did I hear you wanted a title shot?
Scotty: Oh, it's Ass-sh. It's more that it's
owed to me, than my wanting. But yeah!
Ash: I think you already have your shot in that
briefcase.
Scotty: What?!? Are you suggesting I use my
earned Money In the Bank title shot to right a wrong that was done to me? Why
don't you wash your hair because the layer of oil and dirt is stopping air from
getting to your brain!
Ash: Here's the thing, Scotty. Champions and
championship contenders are usually .....hmm.... how to put it? They're usually
people who actually win matches! With the exception of your ladder match
victory--which I attribute more to Rex and Apollyon preoccupied with beating
each other and losing focus rather than you actually winning in a definitive
way--you've just been getting the crap kicked out of you. Some #1 contender
material you'd make!
*Suddenly, Slam Jackson jumps into the scene*
Scotty:
What is this? A cardboard box
convention? Now where did this hobo come
from???
Slam: If
there’s one man that the Slamnation wants to see holding the Championship
strap, it’s this guy right here *Slam points to himself* AIN’T THAT RIGHT, SLAMNATION?!?
*Hollers and cheers are heard off camera, with an
especially loud one directly in the camera from the cameraman*
Slam: *to Scotty, Ash, and Jay* The Slamnation
population is growing rapidly, people.
And the good citizens want a trophy they can be proud of!
Scotty:
How about one of those derby’s with a top punched out of it?
Slam:
Scotty, for all the money you have, you can’t seem to buy a win or a
break. So until you get one of those,
let the big boys talk about the important matters. Go dip your toes in your pool, or maybe soak
your head in it.
Scotty: I don’t believe this…
Ash: Heh
heh…soak his head.
*Mark Blood now enters the scene with the other 4
men*
Mark: I
hear you guys talking about #1 contender status, and I have this to say. Ash, you’ve been on quite the streak, so
maybe you deserve shot. Slam, you’ve
been making an impact since day one, so maybe you deserve a shot. Scotty….you haven’t done anything except be
loud. You don’t deserve anything.
Scotty:
Hey!
Mark: As
for me, I had a rocky start. But you
know what? When just about everyone gave
up on me, I dug deep, believed in myself, and turned it all around. I have heart.
And THAT is a championship quality.
And if anyone knows anything about heart, it’s someone named “Blood!”
*After a few seconds of silence, Ash turns to Slam*
Ash:
He’s got a point.
*Slam pinches his chin with his thumb and index
finger, juts out his lower lip, raises his eyebrows, and nods in agreement with
Ash*
Scotty:
What the--? This is insane. I don’t care anyone pumping Blood. This interview, this whole segment is about
ME and the injustice that I suffered at the last event. What’s wrong with everyone?!?
*The 4 wrestlers all start bantering with each
other. Jay ducks under to the front of
the crowd*
Jay:
Four men all vying for the rank of #1 contender. How will the NRWL management decide who is
worthy of the title shot. Check back
soon as I’m sure an announcement will come within a day or two! This is Jay Phillips signing off!
