*”Breathe Into Me* by The Red starts playing over the
arena speakers and Jacob Washington makes his way down to the ring. He takes a microphone and looks around for a
few seconds before speaking*
Jacob: Well, for
those of you who don’t know who I am, my name is Jacob Washington. I was signed for the NRWL’s Season 5 because the
management of this company knew that it needed a real kick in the ass. And I’m the man who’s here to do that kind of
ass-kicking! This season we’re seeing
some new faces, but we’re also seeing some familiar ones. It really is a shame the NRWL went and wasted
so much money signing a bunch of washed-up has-beens like Marcus, Tommy V, John
Fraust, and—hell I’ve even seen WarHead walking around backstage!
*crowd erupts into cheers at the mention of WarHead*
Jacob:
Oh..ok. Mm hmm. *sarcastically, mocking the fans, twirling
his index finger in the air* Yeah.
WarHead. Woooo! Yeah!
Go WarHead! You’re the hottest
item in the NRWL! I sleep with a
cardboard cutout of you! Yeah! *returns to seriousness* See?
That’s what’s wrong with all of you people. You worship guys who have no business even
having their name known by you. Tell me,
what has WarHead done since he left the IRW?
Yeah, I went there! But really,
what has he done? You can say he won the
NRWL Championship in Season 1 as the first champion. Yup, he won it on a fluky Fatal 4 way match,
and proceeded to lost the title almost immediately after and hasn’t done crap
since! Yet you people adore him!
Then last season the NRWL brings in a whole new roster
and you put your hearts behind me like Slam Jackson and Ash. Together, they’ve amounted to a whole lot of
nothing. Slam might’ve won the title,
but became invisible immediately after.
And once he lost his title, the fickle *sardonica, faux-stupid voice* “Slamnation” *end
sardonicism* abandoned him. Now look, he’s
all depressed and left the company. I’m
sure we’ll find him on a sidewalk somewhere with a “The End Is Near” sign
draped over his body, selling pencils form a cup. And Ash?
When your biggest accomplishment is being the captain of a losing team,
I think it’s time to find a new line of work.
It really is sad and pathetic when the best thing that
came out of Season 5 was a scrawny little imp named Mikey Armstrong who lucked
his way to a couple of surprise upsets.
If that’s the best you’ve got, it’s no wonder management went out to
find someone like me, to put some respectability back into this roster. You people need me, even though you really
don’t deserve m----“
Voice: Quiet. Shut up.
Stop talking.
*Mikey Armstrong walks out from backstage and stands at
the top of the ramp*
Mikey: You know,
Jac Dub, you were doing fine right up until the end there. WarHead, Ash, Slam, sure I’ll grant you their
not the greatest people to have to make your roster look good. Where you lost me and everyone else who has
three functioning brain cells is where you said that it was sad and pathetic
that I was the best thing to come out of Season 5, while in the same paragraph
declaring yourself some kind of godsend.
Do you not see what’s wrong this that??
I am undefeated. I am
amazing. And I am a juggernaut. And you…will be looking for a new line of
work once everyone sees that you can’t hack it.
Jacob: Is that
what you think? Alright! You’re going to be my first stepping
stone. I’m gonna swat you like the
annoying mosquito that you are! I’m a
pure athlete, and you’re just a shifty, shady, shaggy little dweeb! After I’m done with you, the only reason
people will call you amazing is that it’s amazing that you’re able to walk
after the beating you’re going to get.
Mikey: Boy, this
sounds familiar. Where have I heard this
before? …..Oh yeah! From EVERY opponent I ever faced! Keep dreaming Jacob, but try not to cry too
hard when you finally wake up and realize it all was just you playing make-believe!
*Mikey’s music hits and he walks backstage. Jabob stands in the ring, with a scowl on his
face*
