[“Wishbone” by Dropbox blasts over the speakers, and The 4 Elements -- Tommy V, Marcus, Max D, and Mikey Armstrong -- emerge from behind the curtain. Mikey is still in a wheelchair. All four members stand at the top of the ramp and raise their arms and are welcome by boo’s from the crowd. Mikey quickly gives an over-exaggerated grimace and starts massaging his leg.]
Jim “The Amp” Johnson: Wasn’t he favoring the other leg a few weeks ago?
WarHead: Uh…. I don’t remember.
[They all make their way down to the ring. Mikey pulls a crutch out from the back of his wheelchair and, with a look of excruciating pain, tries standing himself up with it, but falls back down into the seat of the wheelchair. Tommy, Marcus, and Max quickly rush of and take his arms to help him up, but Mikey shrugs them off and holds his arms out with an “I got this” pose. Mikey, teeth-clenched, slowly and arduously raises himself out of the wheelchair, supporting all his weight with the crutch until his is finally out of the chair. Tommy, Marcus, and Max all give him a big round of applause and turn to the crowd with an insincere attempt to get the crowd to applaud along with them. The crowd responds with even louder boo’s. Mikey gives an insincere “thank you” wave, and begins slowly making his way up the ring steps, pausing for many seconds on each on to rub his leg. The crowd boo’s with impatience.]
WarHead: The show might be over before they even speak.
Jim Johnson: I can’t believe--he can’t still be THAT injured!
[By the time Mikey and the rest of The 4 Elements make it to the center of the ring, the song is almost over. Instead of fading out, the sound tech lets the last few seconds of the song play out and the song ends on its own]
Tommy V: When are you people going to learn? When are you people going to start showing some respect and gratitude? When are you people going to wake up and realize?
Marcus: And we’re not talking to all of you…...we’re talking to that small handful of people that were booing and injured man!
Tommy V: Yeah! You couple of people who were booing Mikey should be ashamed of yourself! He suffered a career-ending injury! But he fought through it and by his willpower and determination, he’ll be back soon!
[Mikey smiles with faux-humility and wipes away an imaginary tear.]
WarHead: So touching.
Jim Johnson: This is ridiculous….
Tommy V: Anyone else would take that opportunity to call it quits, get themselves a handicapped plate so they could park near entrances, and live off the government, just like most of you! How many food stamps did you people have to scalp to get tickets here tonight?
Marcus: I consider myself a hero to all you people, and for good reason. But let me tell you, my hero, is Mikey Armstrong!
Jim Johnson: Oh for Pete’s sake.
[The crowd boo’s more and Marcus give Mikey a handshake coupled with a bro hug. After realease Marcus, Mikey winces and grabs his leg and rubs it a big. The crowd starts chanting “You’re pre-ten-ding” *clap* *clap* *clapclapclap* “You’re pre-ten-ding” *clap* *clap* *clapclapclap* “You’re pre-ten-ding” *clap* *clap* *clapclapclap*. The 4 Elements look around at the crowd with scowls on their faces.]
WarHead: Didn’t realize so many doctors were in attendance tonight.
Marcus: “Pretending?!?” PRETENDING?!? You know what’s not pretend??? THIS!!
[Marcus and Tommy hold up their tag team championship belts.]
Marcus: We’re the NRWL Tag Team champions! The first ones since the first season! Pretending….Ha! You know what pretending is?? Pretending is what you pile of garbage bums here tonight are doing right now! You’re all pretending that you’re lower-middle class citizens! You’re not! You’re all here tonight because it’s a warm building with some working plumbing! I’m sure all you toothless hobos will be in line at the soup kitchen tomorrow morning!
Jim Johnson: Now that’s uncalled for!
Tommy V: “Pretending.” There’s nothing pretend about how great we are! Look at what we did in that tournament. Round 1 against Bruno and Marty. Max gave us a good scouting report on them that was spot on: they’re weak-willed and lack the killer instinct. And we did what great teams do to lesser teams. We beat them. We beat the team with the current NRWL Champion.
Marcus: Round 2 - Johnny Young and Jacob Washington. Johnny is a 2-time NRWL Champion, and Jacob Washington is this Seasons media darling. They were the heavy favorite to win the entire tournament! And what did we do? We stomped them big time! The tournament should’ve just ended there and declared us the champions.
Jim: These guys are full of so much hot air, nobody can claim global warming is a myth!
WarHead: …….come up with that all by yourself, did ya?
Tommy V: Round 3 - The Sons of Darkness. The scariest, immoral men in the federation. They’ve cause so much pain and injuries to so many wrestlers…...And we kicked…..their…...ASSES!!!
[The crowd boo’s loudly as all four men in the ring smile ear to ear at Tommy’s statement]
Jim Johnson: What the--?!? They pretty much had that championship match handed to them when Apollyon hijacked The Sons of Darkness!
Marcus: And the gold isn’t stopping there. Max…?
Max D: That’s right. At the next show, I’m winning the 6-Man Ladder match, and then I’m going to beat my “friend” Bruno Kowalski, and take his belt and become NEW NRWL CHAMPION!!
[Crowd boo’s.]
Max D: You see, when Bruno and I were training together, I told him that if he won the belt, I’d be right there to challenge for it. But I didn’t think he’d be so cowardly that he’d do everything he can to prevent me from getting a title shot. I’ve done my time, I’ve made my bones, and you’d think that out of sheer respect for a fellow warrior, he’d man up and grant me that title shot. But no! He knows I’ll beat him to a pulp, so he has to concoct this #1 Contender’s Ladder match, where I can be distracted and held back by 4 other mid-carders while another low-lift climbs the ladder without any struggle. It’s crap. But, crappy champions make crappy matches. I hope Bruno isn’t champion for long, because with him at the helm, this company will founder. What it really needs is a---
[“Crying Like a Bitch” by Godsmack cuts off Max’s speech. Bruno and Marty emerge from backstage to thunderous cheer.]
Jim Johnson: Uh oh! Looks like Bruno and Marty have heard enough!
[Bruno and Marty walk down the ramp and into the ring and take mics.]
Bruno: You guys are the BIGGEST bunch of babies this federation has ever had. I had more respect for Red Love than I do for any of you.
WarHead: Oh! Buuuuurrrrnnnn!!!
Bruno: Max, you’re haven’t earned anything. Cheap shots and losing are not a way of becoming #1 contender. The fact that you’ve “done your time” and “made your bones” is pretty much the only reason why I included you in the ladder match. And now that you’re in it, why don’t you just try shutting up and winning something on your own for once this season?
[Max gets in Bruno’s face and the two stare each other down. Marcus and Tommy pull Max back as Marty steps up to them.]
Marty: So you think Bruno and I don’t have the killer instinct do you? You think we’re weak-willed? Then how about this? Re-match between you two and us for the belts! Put your money with your garbage-spewing mouths are! If we’re such pushovers, then you shouldn’t be afraid to take us on again. If you got--
[Mikey pushes by Marty and stars addressing the crowd.]
Mikey: I’d like to thank everyone who has sent me Get-Well cards and gifts and for the tremendous outpouring of support from all my fans! I can’t wait until this leg heals and I can finally get back to action. You don’t know how much I wish it was me that would be defending the tag team belts for The 4 Elements! ….Ok, well, not against these two here, that’d be a waste of time. But against REAL opponents, I would welcome th--
[Marty kicks the crutch out from under Mikey’s arm. The crowd cheers and Mikey stands there and glares at Marty with a look of angered shock. Then, his face briefly flashes a look of guilty surprise, and he flops on to the canvas, rolling around and clutching his legs and screaming in “pain.”]
Jim Jonnson: Look at that! You can’t tell me he’s not faking!
[Tommy, Marcus, and Max tend to Mikey and call the doctors down to the ring. Bruno and Marty exit the ring smiling and walk backwards up the ring. Tommy, Marcus, and Max yell and point angrily at Bruno and Marty. Tommy and Marcus hold up their tag team title belts. Bruno holds up his NRWL championship belt. Marty points to the ring and does the belts gesture around his waist as the medical staff run down to the ring and tend to Mikey, who is pounding the canvas with his fists in “agony.”]
Jim Johnson: Bruno and Marty, challenging for the tag team gold! The next show is going to be a good one!
WarHead: I hope Mikey’s okay.
[scene fades out.]
