Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Sorry For Your Loss

[Trixie is filling a plate with some food from the catering table. She suddenly lifts her head, staring straight forward. She knows someone is standing behind her.]

Trixie: Paul.

[The camera zooms out to show Paul Priest standing behind her.]

Paul Priest: You know, Trixie. We've had our differences in the past. Despite that, I wanted to tell you that I uh.. Well, I'm very sorry for your loss.

[Trixie turns and looks at him with a confused look.]

Trixie: What are you talking about?

PP: You know, Scotty?

Trixie: Scotty? He's not dead, Paul. He's injured. What is the matter with you?

PP: Dead. Injured. Look, I know how it is. I once dated this incredibly gorgeous woman. I mean, wow. You're hot and all, but this one was the queen of the mountain. Well, she had a thing for riding horses and doing the fancy tricks with them and all that. You know what I mean?

[Trixie bites her lip and forces herself not to attack him.]

PP: So this chick falls off of her horse, breaks her neck.

Trixie: Oh my god, that's awful.

PP: It was. It was. Very tragic. Because of the paralysis, she just couldn't do stuff anymore. Sexually, I mean. She was as good as dead at that point. I was heartbroken when I left her in the hospital but I managed to carry on. What I'm trying to get at is, I know how you feel. And, I'm willing to put aside our differences and support you and all of your needs. I'd like to start mending our relationship by asking you to accompany me to the ring in my match against Jacob Washington. It may help you with the healing process. [Paul begins to speak in a dramatic voice] I know the pain of losing a loved one.

[Trixie frowns, takes her plate of food, and smashes it into Paul's face. She storms off. Paul sneers and wipes some tuna fish off of his face.]

PP: Guess I'll take that as a 'no'.